'harold and kumar' is just plain hilarious and slightly offensive so view it with caution. watched it on the com with my dad. :D note to impressionable kids, parental guidance is advised, though.

going to watch 'chronicles of narnia' and 'indiana jones' and all the movies that have yet to be released. how i adore movie marathons. i need to adhere to my study schedule soon after. (if i make up an official one) i have a serious need to drive myself to work and i am in awe of those who can actually stick to their computer programmed list and obey every single detail. i am in need for a grand motivator! ):

i will most probably be away from next Wednesday night to Saturday(skipping the first few days of the camp) in line with the church camp. it is not confirmed yet, though. i am looking forward to a few days off the typical hectic lifestyle and spending quality time with like-minded brethen. (:

away with the judging eyes that wander off seeking imperfections, pointing out disabilities and picking out flaws that are merely subjective. why not pick on your very self since you adore living in your own world and exalting some worthless self-proclaimed appointed beauty? i swear i could almost hate you but i remind myself not to, for we have need to love everyone. at least i've tried. notice how friends come and go?

tough nuts are hard to crack but tough nuts are possibly impossible to crack. get it? haha :/ riddles. toodle doodle.

i am a happy little galx in a sad big worldx.

ridiculously ridiculous. don't mind me. read the enlightening post below.

subliminal messages in songs are rampant in the society today, and it is really terrifying that people actually do not realize this fact and they continue listening to a particular song till they get brainwashed. It is not new, and it is definitely not nonsense! i'm sure almost everyone knows or has heard of this particularly famous song. it is played backwards and foward in this website. i listened to it along with my dad twice. the link is as follows:

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/stairway

(please do not repeatedly listen to it, you do not wish to become another victim)

even the original lyrics have a distinct meaning and message to it if you can actually decipher it, it is just that people do not regard it as a threat, merely as fellow a human being voicing out his opinions. what they do not know is, bit by bit, the words are engraved in their hearts, ingrained in their minds, taking over their lives. pretty terrifying, is it not? many people might actually think that we're just being fooled into believing that this backward messages are real but that is not true, and the fact remains that such events have existed since before we were born. creepy!

i'm beginning to regard my blog as an avenue for me to enhance my english and literature standard. i'm sorry if i'm starting to bore you. you can stop being a faithful reader, it's your loss anyway. x-O whatevs. everyone loves reading my ever interesting website.

xOxO

I wish i could be over-confident all the time and convince myself that I can have everything I want, everyone I want. I succeed most times, but sometimes, I start to doubt myself. I know that I must eradicate all form of self-doubt, because that is the root to failure, and that is the sole cause of failure.

Everyone says I'm too confident, but that is a front. Usually, people flock to confident and self-assured people, so being sure of yourself is really important! Love yourself, and others will learn to love you. Good, or bad? You shall decide. It is subjective, and you shall make up your mind on your own.

what hate, what love! There is so much of both in the world, usually mixed up and presented as a whole, we don't even know what is real anymore. to each and everyone, Have you ever asked yourself this very simple yet complex question- ‘what is your true self?’ Every smile, every laugh, every frown, every remark you make, you are merely defending your very self and presenting you like as you showcase your masterpiece.

Nothing is real, in that sense.

Or course, that is basic and right in every aspect of the world. You wish to portray this immaculate, perfect, attractive, appealing version of you in front of people you wish to impress. After the novelty dies off, you begin to stop caring as much. Is this not what we experience in our daily lives?

I want to care so much, but even though novelty wears off, there are the remains. I still care a lot, just so much that I can't express, along with the rest of the globe. How far can i ever go? To what extend would I go to realize my dreams? How much am I willing to sacrifice for 'love'? What is love in the first place? A mere chemical reaction.

Wow, and they all make it sound way-too-much complicated and uncomprehensive with buckets of tears and showers of blood, squeals of joy, passionate pain, exuberantly screaming as they slice themselves up and make it sound like a whimsy about a happy-ever-afterlife fairytale.

This is so amusing. I could laugh as I read my own post. It does not really sound coherent.

Perhaps.

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I finished my chinese book. I am pleased.

watched 'what happens in vegas' on Saturday.
awesome movie, minimal sexual references, but that is pretty much it.
almost perfect guy, almost perfect girl, immaculate perfection.
splendid for a hearty laugh.

i went out with THE best guy pal <3(friend) today to 'study' Chinese. (mostly chat-time)
I'm the best motivation anyone can have to start hitting the books because I forced him to read the chinese book I'm working on. Currently, I'm on page 300. 103 more pages to go.
It is no ordinary book, it bears the words of a china-chinese speaking author.
can't stand myself. (: imma such a HOT NERD!
Allister, i swear you are the most awesome best/ hot/ TALL g friend anyone can have! :D
you must be so touched I'm dedicating a fraction of this post to you.
THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, SERIOUSLY.
we are like the hottest best pals.
NOW, don't say i forced you, liar! :D
i am so fueling your ego, bgp!
i'm the hottest/ nicest/ tallest/ best girl pal! <3

(i shall make him read this.)

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x

we had a bi-annual event organized by the church that was held yesterday at west coast park.
being the emo-galx, i decided to wander off by myself for a while, taking in the seemingly ordinary sights of the remains of nature that was left behind. The loneliness struck me and i was overwhelmed with a tidal of emotions. it was pleasant, in a way. Words cannot express my thoughts and feelings! There is a chinese saying- 'fei bi mo suo neng xing rong'. (the china book works!) Actually, i think that is the way it is. sometimes, having time solely to yourself is the cure to your misery. Now, away with the worries, away with the stressful life that drains you of your life fuel! Take time off your busy schedule and actually start caring for yourself. assimilate my behaviour and be an emo-galx/guyx. whatever it is, just give yourself a break from this eternal monotonous cycle.

Kite-flying yesterday was awesome! quality time with friends. (:
A short deserving break.

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puzzle piece!

my father doesn't allow me to join it though they've called. ):
i shall attempt to persuade him.
my opportunity! :/
my birthday is a little too late.
not sure if that affects.
well.

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i did not.
the birthday wasn't a problem, but i have to study for my o's.
my dad strongly discourages it.
the girls will be involved in many events and it will take up a lot of time!
it's alright, my studies are more important.
such a pity, f1 is so cool.
wrong year!

there were about 30 of us who went to nus today to listen to Dion Jordan's motivational talk through the web cam! he is an internationally renowned award-winning speaker and he is well known worldwide. it was really uplifting and so i typed his name on google to find out more. you can do that too. he might have just told us a brief summary of his story, but i am sure there are many details that he eradicated due to constraints.

he was born with feet that were bend sideways, literally 180 degrees, and he stuttered. he was the butt of all jokes because he is a black in an all-white school. no one befriended him because he could not walk and talk properly and because of racial prejudice. he was devastated but his parents were supporting and at the age of 12, they brought him to the doctor who had his legs broken and fixed in the correct way and to correct his speech, he attended classes and he mastered the rudiments of speech in a span of 3 years. he thought positively and he told us that we too, must do that. it is very true, so we should start the positive self talk now! hang out with positive people! negative people put you down, they are not your real friends, or perhaps they are just like that. people leave them after a while because they wallow in self pity and attempt to drag others down with them. they are not people anyone LIKES to hang out with. even if they are around you, they do not really like you. your environment affects you, so make the most out of your most pleasant environment and be careful about the people around you.

many people have the misconception that motivational speakers are just quacks that speak to make a living. they are jealous that such people make tons of money whilst they make peanuts. they may not say it, but it is truth and the fact remains that such speakers are more successful than themselves. if they can succeed, so can you!

i shall be positive and i must work hard to attain my goals. (: many times, we will be driven for a short span of time and the flame gradually dies off, so we have to put in an effort to fuel the flame within our hearts. constantly do things that will fuel your flame and rekindle the spark!

happiness is the key!
think positive thoughts.
BE THE BEST!

the ebony sky glints with a tinge of hope, so wash your face with soap, you dope.

you illegal drug. you, can't decipher me.

can't you help me? can't you release me from this endless trap in this vast domain?
can't you? yes, you can but you can't because you just can't unless you want to.

does anyone fully understand? yes, God.

it rhymes, i don't care what it sounds like.

i have comments that my blog sounds mature, thankfully. i shall attempt to draft it on a lighter note. the internet is not safe. uploaded new pictures. splendid.

The following is another extract from Mabel's blog. the slide show is apparently more impactive because apparently 'what you see is what you get.' and i feel that the slide show make awoke me in a way. if you really want the slide show, get it from me! :D

Check Up

I went to the Lord’ Clinic to have my routine check-up and I confirmed I was ill:

When Jesus took my blood pressure, He saw I was low in tenderness.

When he read my temperature, the thermometer registered 40º of anxiety.

He ran an electrocardiogram and found that I needed several “love bypasses” since my arteries were blocked with loneliness and could not provide for an empty heart.

I went to orthopedics, because I could not walk by my brother’s side and I could not hug my friends, since I had fractured myself when tripping with envy.

He also found I was shortsighted, since I could not see beyond the shortcomings of my brothers and sisters.

When I complained about deafness, the diagnostic was that I had stopped listening to Jesus’ voice talking to me on a daily basis.

For all of that, Jesus gave me a free consultation thanks to his mercifulness, so my pledge is to, once I leave this clinic, only take the natural remedies he prescribed through his words of truth:

Every morning,
take a full glass of gratitude
When getting to work,
take one spoon of peace

Every hour,
take one pill of patience, one cup of brotherhood and one glass of humility

When getting home,
take one dose of love

When getting to bed,
Take two caplets of clear conscience

Do not give in into sadness or desperation for what you are going through today.

God knows how you feel.

God knows exactly and with perfection what is being allowed to happen to you in your life at this precise moment.

God’s purpose for you is simply perfect.

He wants to show you things that only you can understand by living what you are living, and by being in the place you are now.

May God give you.

For every storm, a rainbow,

For every tear, a smile,

For every care, a promise,

And a blessing in each trial.

For every problem life sends,

A faithful friend to share,

For every sigh, a sweet song,

And an answer for each prayer.

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i painstakingly added the colour to create the emotion for the words in an attempt to add life to it. it is said that colours are important in creating the particular mood for a certain occasion. have you ever wondered, why certain fastfood restaurants are doing so well and have outlets in every corner and every inch of the continents on the globe? they know their colours. yes, back to the rudiments. red and yellow are examples of colours that make you happy. red is excitement, yellow represents a state of bliss. of course, when you are in a restaurant like that, you can't help but feel happy too. of course, children, being the young and innocent impressionists, will often fall into this well derived trap and end up patronizing the place for their entire lifetime. isn't that absolutely brilliant? money-making scheme. that is why colours are trademarks of restaurants like this! no one else can snatch this splendid concept. do you realise that whenever you are placed in such an environment, you too are in a state of joy? see how that works.

now place yourself in another fastfood restaurant that has dull, boring theme colours. that effect is gone. yes. you patronise the place perhaps once, twice? it depends. even if you are a frequent customer, you will not experience the analogous state of bliss in this particular outlet.

eating kit kat makes me pleased. the packaging is red and inviting. (:

yes, it is true. i blog about things that are evident in reality and i do not sop about childish romances like ignorant puny typical forsaken teens. i don't care.

also, the clothes that you wear is what you are. yes, this is very true. like it or not, this is YOU. your appearance, yourself.

imagine this scene.

you are alone. you are lost in this very busy city where no one cares about you. you see two strangers in front of you. two men.

man no.1 he is smartly attired in a black suit and a tie, neatly gelled hair, almost gleaming in the sunlight. his sunglasses glints slightly as he moves his head in the other direction. his loafers are almost shining in your face, you can practically see your own reflection in them. smart, perfect.

man no.2 he is dressed sloppily in torn and tattered jeans, those over-priced ones which are too overly worn by common folks. his hair is styled in the typical street gang guy way, dyed a little too yellow, with streaks of white. bad hair job. he strides around as though the world were his enemy.

now, who do YOU want to approach, truthfully. now don't tell me you would go for that man no.2, unless you are some puny little 'lian' thing. imagine they switched roles, people will still approach the better looking one. the same thing goes for girl no.1 and girl no.2. i can't be bothered to make up a story.

get my point? face it, welcome to the superficial world, where all everyone cares about is looks. seriously. even if you are not superior concerning your looks, do make an effort with your face/body/dressing/ATTITUDE/character, etc. be a nice person. i can't stand people who do not care. this shows how pathetic they are. i don't know why anyone bothers to make friends with them. if you do not care about yourself, why should anyone care about you?

stop making excuses! care about YOURSELF. do something about yourself and stop being the loser you are. self-sympathy ain't gonna get you anywhere. you're just drowning in your own sorrows and crying out to yourself. no one cares. face it. so start loving yourself and make an effort and STOP listening to those people who say, love yourself for who you are.

'it is not how good you are, it is how good you want to be' quoted from LM.

people who want you to remain in self agony don't want you to change. change is troublesome. they want you to lag behind while they're miles ahead. head start. yes, life is always changing. they want you to be inferior to them. show them you're different. do it. faithful readers, if your friends are like that, encourage them. I've encouraged my friends that wallow in self pity, but in the end, it is them who can actually help themselves.

Pray to the Lord, he will guide you.

i desperately hope that they will come out of it, but i've tried so many times, i've said so much, but does it help? i really want it to. every failed attempt makes me sink deeper, but i get up again. i do it again, because i care.

sometimes, you think no one cares. true, or true? the truth is, God cares.

most friends will not care but there are some, yes, there will be those that care. how about your family? i've mentioned it in my previous posts before. so break this ice between you and this loved one and build the bond that holds the family together. i believe that there is no eternal hatred, it is just a misconception in everyone's heart and mind that clouts your brows and it makes you unable to see the light within the darkness.

many things do not appear the way it is. people behave a certain way because of a certain something. if you actually take time to get to know them, if you bother enough, you will view them in a different angle and get to know them again. every individual is unique. it is hard to love them though.

how can i help myself?

what a lengthy post that was, did anyone actually read it thoroughly?

i just went for a short run near my home and i got bored of it so i headed home. cooked soup for my family! it's really delicious, so much so that i want to eat/ drink it up all by myself. i could actually package it all up and sell it. (: i took pictures of it for evidence but i can't find the cable to connect it to the computer. watched 'iron man' with them yesterday, it was awesome! the main lead has nice eyes, surprising long lower lashes that paired well with innocent large peepers, cute for a really grown man. we were fascinated with that fact! go catch it if you wish to have a nice laugh, rated pg, suitable for every age, nice red armour, cool tech, etc.

this is general-

the thing about life is you've got to pick up the pieces, no matter what is left behind- scrapes of nothing or a promising future that you anticipate. what a life, what a life of unexpected events that simply blow your mind into interlinked broken pieces? contradicts itself, doesn't it.

it is as though everything were a full circle, but you just can't connect it together and you can't piece the puzzle. once you are able to piece it and fix it as a whole to produce the final picture, you've almost apprehended the true meaning to what this really is.

the thing is, there are many missing pieces that you seek to find so hard, but you'll never find it, even till the end. it is when someone hands you the missing piece that you are able to see it with your own eyes and before that happens, all you can do is put in the substitute pieces by yourself and attempt to see the true picture, though through countless failed attempts you never seem to have it in your hands.

to get the missing piece, you've got to win the person over, and many times, we just let it be and lose everyone we love so dearly or actually think we love so dearly. there are these substitute pieces, meaning other extras in your life whom you use to TRY to replace the ones you care about and it doesn't work out= failed attempt.

does this not sound unfamiliar? are you deceiving yourself? ASK YOURSELF. what have been TRYING to do all this while? you're RUNNING AWAY but you CAN'T HIDE. you can't hide from yourself. EVERYONE has this problem. it is just how you choose to face it? substitutes pieces so do not work out. they are but just nothing and worthless in everyone's eyes. do you want to be a substitute pieces? a fake/ pirated, whatever?

i want something authentic. everyone wants the best. even then, you might not be able to attain it because it might be out of reach after all this time. how badly do you want the missing piece? how far are you willing to go for THAT missing piece of your life? are you willing to forsake all and pursue it?

we say we try, but how hard do we actually try? what is try? it means you will NOT succeed. trying is not anything. you DO IT. even when you've attained your missing puzzle piece, if you do not hold on tight enough and shower it with love, eventually, you will lose it to someone else but you can TRY to get it back but you may not succeed.

life is selfish, and so am i. everyone wants the piece you want. when you've almost got the piece safely and securely in your hands, you take it for granted, you do not treasure it but when you've lost it, you want it back so badly. you dare not fully stretch out your hand to get the piece and take it because you are afraid the person will not give it to you and give it to someone else and turn you down straight in the face and you can't find your pride anymore. you are afraid to face up to reality- good or bad. true, or true?

i want to, but yes I'm afraid, just like you. everyone is afraid, that is why they can't get their missing piece. will the kind soul give me the missing piece of my life? am i a missing piece just like everyone else or am i just a lost piece that is needed no more? maybe I'm just saying out too much but too little because this may be hard to comprehend. maybe I've lost it, or maybe i still have it but i just can't feel that i have it anymore. maybe I've really lost it. maybe you should tell me if it is still there or simple forget it if nothing is there because the truth hurts when you are on the losing end. do you know what i want to say?

damn.

( I've paragraphed it for my DEAR friend who said it was a whole chunk. (: I'm sweet and thoughtful for my dear readers. )

kisses

glittery sparkles at midnight stroke
stunning, captivating as the ice drop broke
shattering into a million, trillion pieces
as the sweet candy-like wind caresses
with feather-light touch, soft lingering kisses

I picked this up at Mabel's blog and I've copied and pasted a fraction of the whole chunk.
It may be simple, but there's still a simple meaning to it that is easy to comprehend.

God's Boxes

I have in my hands two boxes which God gave me to hold.
He said, 'Put all your sorrows in the black box and all your joys in the gold box.'

I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each day,
The black was as light as before.
With curiosity, I opened the black,
I wanted to find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.
I showed the hole to God, and mused,
'I wonder where my sorrows could be!'
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
'My child, they're all here with me..'
I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
'My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings & the black is for you to let go.'

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*I summarized the whole story in the bold letters for people who want to glance through.

Do you feel as though you are encumbered with countless burdens? maybe it is time you let go of something, slowly but surely, you'll rid of the source of your agony and that particular day of hope will dawn on you and you shall be free of secular pains. Pray, seek God. I shall have to do just that.

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when I was done with typing my entire post, i scrolled through it all and i read it to myself. i think i sound like a depressed soul or somewhat like that. gosh! i think it's time i added some colour to my posts! I shall attempt to add life to my future posts and spread the joy. after all, what is life without bliss but then again, what is life without sorrow? this is ironic, but is this not what you get from an eternity of monotonous happenings?

i like my current blogskin because it is dull and unattractive. perhaps i would attempt to beautify it when i actually think it needs a makeover. i added some colours to the story to enhance its appearance.

i was lying in bed the previous night, trying to catch some sleep in time for the last paper today- literature, my fav! the more i tossed, the more i got irritated and many things ran through my mind as i attempted to fall asleep. the more i stressed myself, the more my head hurt and i could take it no more. life is full of perplexity and i was entangled within a tidal of emotions. i decided to think of nothing thoughts. guess what? i fell asleep in the end.

THE END.

moral of the story: decide to think of nothing thoughts
( which is self-deception or running away from reality and shutting off all facts, which is good in a way, ever heard, ignorance is bliss? )

tomorrow's dress code: "dress to impress!"
cool.

Beyond

the wind sways gently at midnight stroke
the skies are ebony with a tinge of hope
the stars are coruscating in a magical note
as the child looks beyond his window sill

shadows are creeping everywhere
the mystical night has just begun
dancing creatures, song and rhyme
as the child looks beyond his window sill

tempted to explore, wanting more,
the child edges forward, trying to soar
suddenly, unexpectedly, with a sweep off his feet
he's falling headlong to the concrete ground

with a swish, he's up again
soaring the skies with some lovely butterflies
bigger than he, with the colours of the rainbow
on a marvelous, magical expedition

he can see the shadows way below
dancing, merrily, it's freedom tonight!
he attempts to move closer
to admire this glorious sight

as he edges forward,
he sees it all
the carefree creatures
embracing the hour and

he slides off the majestic wings
together, along with the breeze
in the peaceful midnight air
towards the window sill he knew so well

the child blinks slightly.

gone are the shadows of the night.
as he turns for one last glance,
he saw a glimpse of the rainbow fading into the night

nothing

the dark sky shines with the slightest light
thoughts of nothing fades away into the night
every breath, every time,
the gashes go deeper, deeper
breaking away, fading away,
nearer, nearer

the empty silence encumbers the girl
she lies awaiting, her outcome is drear
screams of nothing, tears of confounding joy
drowning in crimson red, trying to escape this ploy
her destiny is bleak, there is no way
she shrieks in silence, she attempts to say
her story was shocking, her time was up
the metal glints in the slightest light,
as she releases her grip on the merciless object
the deafening thud, as it falls into place,
thoughts of nothing fades into the night

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