I hope I am fine.
I threw up today and yesterday and my chest area contracted.
It has been going on for ages.
Please pray for me!
Thanks, goodbye.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I WANNAA SCREAMMMMMMMMM.

I FEEEELLL EXTREMELY HORRID.

I was merely one part of a whole.

No wonder. It makes sense now.

I do it anyway. Who can I blame.

I should be a nerd without a life. Nahz.

I can't wait for the December Holidays.

YAY LIFE. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Stop it.
Okay goodbye.

The Last Memorial Hall

The melody and the harmonious verses sting my thoughts
As I glance at the reflective clouds like drenched droughts
Utterly cemented onto the frame of the forsaken and lone
Reveling in the snapshots of the merriment that once shone

Traversing the river that never seems to pause
Mirroring the repulsiveness of the unspoken clause
Flashbacks making comebacks as pictures on the wall
Rotting and decomposing in the last memorial hall

HAHAHAHA ANALYSE! YAY!
Perhaps you will be able to dissect my poem.
OKAY I WANT TO SLEEP NOW GOODBYE.

I am totally exhausted and waiting to start on PW again. ):
Sigh, it really takes up your life.
I stare at the illuminated screen and my mind is not lightened.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhh. Whyyyy.

Why are there two different fronts. Why. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
I AM DARN SAD, YOU KNOW.
I am like, extremely upset and affected and dejected and annoyed and exhausted and worn out and I wanna sleep.
I stare at the leaves and ponder about my altered life.
Why, I do not comprehend.
I detest change. Yes, I simply adore remaining in my comfort zone.


AHHHHHHHH I WANNA SLEEP NOWWWWW.
I HATE WORKKKKKK.
I WANT TO SLEEEEEEPPPPP.

They state that I smile too much and it is not how I feel most times.
I admit it is partially true. I merely am making an attempt to look nice. Hahahahaha.
What else, at least I made an endeavor.

I hate stalkers.
Hello, stalker.
Stop stalking me.
Yes, you have my "ylgalz" email.
Whatever. Get a cyber life.
I like stalks but I abhor stalkers.
Thanks.

Sigh, I shall compose a poem to maximize my allowance for the furtherance of my creativity. Lolz.

The melody and the harmonious verses sting my thoughts
As I glance at the reflective clouds like drenched droughts

Ennui sets in too frequently and it causes you to actually ponder about the various activities going on in your hectic life. One word simply sums up all that I must glorify in my overcrowded mind even though I would adore to actually write a whole script.

Presenting to you my short-term goal.

"Study."

LOLz.
Hahahaha Yes, I like colourfulz language cuz I am not a Science student. Hahaha. Sighz.

I have made up my mind.
I shall please my teachers and first of all, I'll start by doing my cheena homework tonight.
I am dreadfully sorry, lao shi.
I know you do not believe me.

If only I could work without sleep and not seek my bed whenever I am crestfallen feel awfully dejected.

I just stopped my < 1 hour nap.
Time for work in half an hour, dudez.

I feel like forgetting it at times.
After all, what do I strive for?
I have attempted too hard anyway, and the actions displayed for my view simply is heart wrenching.

What evz.

I have been consuming chocs three days in a row. Haha.
Oh, Kinder Bueno does not make you happy when you're dejected.
There is too much cream and insufficient chocs to release endorphins to please me.
You can try something else like Cadbury or Van Houtten. Hahaha.

I am in control.

When it was pouring earlier today, I felt really despondent and my eyes felt moist.
Not drenched.
What the hell for.
And you are that ironical.
If you stop.

Get moving.

Trivial things that made her day
A winsome smile that took countless breaths away

Nahz, not so much so. Haha!
Too many walls! It still is the same reason, the inability to overcome the teenage past.

There is not a single significant reason to persist in this siege.
I have to like, get the nail polish remover and decompose the cement on the brick walls.
Queer imagery. Haha.
Sure, there are many reasons but definitely negligible and unworthy.
There are simply too many obstacles to encounter and it is simply not worth it.

I detest loitering around.
I wanna get what I want.
It is all about the goals.
Haha, fine! Quote me, whatever. Haha.

People are way too selfish and self-centered, only indulging in themselves and refusing to extend a helping hand when you're upset.
Time to open up and accept it. Everyone is perhaps just like that, human nature. Sighz.
Choices are meant to be made anyway. It is their own right. (:

I was nice. I wanna be friends with everyone if it may be.

This world is so desolate but there is something to be happy about.
My mirror!

No, not really.
Haha, oh.
I like stalks but I abhor stalkers.
I want new make up, like, the Shiseido blusher in this colour.
I CAN'T FIND IT ONLINE.
I WANNA FIND THE PICTURE.

You can buy soft orange for me and send it to my home.
I found some random website.
Go google 'Shiseido Blusher'.
I don't know the colour I am currently using. I cannot find it online.
It has red undertones and it isn't disgustingly pink like those the cheap slutsz I-see-everywhere wear. I mean like, no offense offensively. :D

Gross makeup is an abhorrence to the modern society! :D
Like, I totally should make the overly white faces up.
Do people not know that a whiter foundation only highlights and ITALICIZES (LOL) your flaws?

Haha, use the correct foundation shade! :D
Ask the salesgirl or something.

I feel extremely tired now. I honestly need a long break.
I shall complete my EOM tomorrow. Stress gets to my head.

I must cool down. (: Yes. Sigh.

And actually, I think I had h1n1. Like, the whole family was infected with fever, persistent cough etc and so were the cousins! The source is Sentosa.
Can you quarantine me?

I found out that I love stuffing myself with chocolates in the dark when I am depressed. Interesting.

I can't model anymore.
I need to study.

Yup, and it is over for now.

People are hurtful, but that is alright.
Most people do not actually mean the pernicious things they speak of.
Just think again the next time although my trust just diminishes after each time.
I still attempt to keep some of it and reminisce about the awesome old days.

Anyway, I thoroughly detest physical abuse.
Stop abusing your penned down authority.
My back hurts wtpineapple.
Arghz.

Breathe in and out.

Sighz, everyone should be friends.
I yearn for heaven dearly.

I want my stolen NEW wallet back.
I want my money. Like, my ez link card and my membership card and pictures.
I will talk to the person. Haha. Otherwise, I will seek the help of higher authority.
People only care about themselves. Sigh.
Don't wanna get involved, don't wanna care. It merely disappoints me.
I thought I forgave her.
Maybe not. She shall return it to me.

That is my weakness, the fact that I do not like to forgive unless an apology is given or I veritably love the person.
Well, not in this case.

I found some good friends though. Like, haha.
Thanks guys! We are in the same boat, heh. :D
and galz, I think.
Nah, guys.
Girls are bitchy, like me!
LOL. Sighhhhh why are girls so hard to talk to.

I wish people wouldn't be so petty.
Haha, I really would love to coexist in harmony with everyone!
Manz, Gbye.
My hair is gonna be ruined from the black hairspray I have to endure every single day.

Runway tips by Stam herself.

This is really good!



Lol, I was like looking at runway videos when I came across this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtZyj_UHAcw&feature=related
There was this particular video with all the models falling one by one. I think someone probably greased the runway.
They went to mop the runway halfway.
It's actually quite a sad sight and their walks were really bad.

Anyway, people are so senseless. They laugh at the models who fell.
There was this video about Naomi Campbell falling and the whole crowd just started laughing at her and no one helped her up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHFSzgh1YQ0
There was another about Jessica Stam but hers wasn't that bad.


Haha, but she looks adorable.

A runway walk is not as simple as it appears to be. People are really mean at times.

Anyway, this is an extremely good video.

Louis Vuitton Fall Winter 2009/2010
http://www.myownrunway.com/video_womens-paris2009_10A.html


I like, need to practise more.
This is like my first runway event thing at 16 and 7 months cuz I am not in Paris/Milan and I am still a "schoolgirl". ):
It's really terrible to see how emaciated they have to be to fit into those sample size clothings.

I am ill and I have not been to school since tuesday.
My whole family is down with the flu sypmtoms.
Pray for my family and I!

I am gonna sleep by 12.45 a.m.
I cannot go on like this, staying up for no apparent reason and serving the web aimlessly.

The mid years are finally over.
I need to learn to spray my hair properly and pray that my can of black hair spray will not run out anytime soon. I don't wanna waste money investing in another one.

I was blissfully walking home today and I noticed the people around me.

I saw an elderly man in front of me, carrying plastic bags spilling with packet food, probably for his family. He did not look very strong, but he still persevered and walked home with the love drowned food that he will carry home for his treasured loved ones. He limped slightly whilst holding the seemingly light load that appeared too much for his frail, old body. I was touched by that sight as I thought about him and his family. I imagined his family at home, waiting and poor, and I did not know why but I just had this image of sympathetic poverty.

I don't know. This simple things make me feel like crying. I think too much at times.

I wish everyone could care about the vulnerable and the forsaken.
Why are people that self centered? A smile to a stranger could make his day.

I abhor judgmental people.

Today, I spoke about matters with a friend.
I really do care about her and pray that things will be fine.
I hope we'll be alright and that history will remain just a memory and good lesson obtained. (:

Psalm 27 (Kings James Version)

⁵For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.

Please read only the KJV because it is the most accurate version.
The NIV is altered and the meaning is completely different.
As mentioned and clearly evident in Revelation.

Revelation 22

¹⁸For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:

¹⁹And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

http://www.biblegateway.com/

The NEW Kings James Version(That is its name) is a SATANIC BIBLE.
THEY ARE COMPLETELY DISSIMILAR.
It is meant to confuse.
Please do NOT read that.
They only wish to draw people away from Christ.

I have one week to lose enough weight and look the best for the runway show.
I shall watch runway videos now.
Bye!

Oh my gosh and I like, can't stand people like that. Unfeeling acts only italicizes your inhumanity.

And I wish I kinda went to a poly instead.
No one would care about my hair like some bitch and I'll be able to pursue my dreams.
I'll be able to model freely and frequently instead of being bounded by rules and reaching home at like 7 plus everyday with no space of my own.
ARGH. OKAY TOO BAD.
You chose it.

Today's papers did not go on extremely well.
Basically, I expect to obtain mediocre results.
It will be different for the promos.

I have obtained a very important lesson today. DO NOT LIE.
I shall blog about it even though my certain moves were unintelligent.

Note: This is merely a lesson you can learn from.

I was happily walking to the library to study and I got stopped by this young educator. Haha.
She did not adopt the most friendly tone and questioned about the authenticity of my hair colour. (It's for the hairshow.)

She proceeded to say that She can "have sex with anyone, go clubbing", "you cannot."-(Just quoting kayz. I think it isn't appropriate AT ALL but it was perhaps to italicize her point that I'm governed by rules? Lol.)

She also made countless sarcastic remarks. Um, Hahahaha! Why pick on me. ): Overboard you know. ): Gosh. I was really sad. I really felt indignant about it. It made me unhappy because her i don't like you AT ALL you tone, notably loud voice and choice of examples were totally irrelevant and demeaning.

She made a single good point- that we're governed by rules.

However, I was at fault because I lied to her about my information after that and refused to disclose my name repeatedly. Moreover, she has authority. I should have told the truth from the start. If I had, it would have been better. My fault is in that I did not tell the truth.

Tone always does affect the outcome! Geez.
I did not wish to submit because of the tone. That is why I appeared disrespectful.
Now to think of it, I should have said so in the first place.

LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE.
Hahaha. Just tell the truth and bear with it even if the opponent is not entirely correct.
Not because of anything, but just to be safe for your own sake!

Anyway, I am kinda in trouble already. Haha. Gonna meet someone of authority on Tuesday.
It is a good lesson though.

Reflection.

Haha, I ate a chocolate bar and I instantly felt happier!

Blogging is bad, it restricts you.
I cannot type how I REALLY feel.
hahaha. Part of it anyway.

I sacrificed so much for the show.
Hope it'll be awesome! :DDDD

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hahahaha, Watching runway shows now!
Must learn.

My gosh, they're all so skinny.
Slim is nice but when the clothes are off, I think it's kinda scary.
They are awesome for exhibiting the clothes' beauty though.

Conclusion
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am sorry for this part but two wrongs do not make a right.

Respect will be given to people who first present themselves in the manner their position expects of them.
Especially, supposed role models.
I hate people who abuse their authority. :DDD Haha!

Otherwise, I will merely be doing what I have to because I am governed and contained.
LOL.