After reading it, I edited much and changed it all to joyful things.
Is that what I do all the time, make everything out to be blessed and happy?
I think that's my coping mechanism, and it really works.
Haha, you should try it!

This post is not very nice. Well, I have to let it out anyway.
I don't wanna become insane.
I changed all the words after I wrote it all down.

I really hope you cease to exist now. I have forgiven you too many times. You are really unbelievable.
You know, my posts were all cheery and forgiving, optimistic and loving, but not this one.
Enough with words that blasts your violent nature (i.e. threatening words) and scolding her with words like why we aren't doing this and that for you and controlling others. Enough of the abuse and psychological damage. I don't even feel anything for you, except dislike sometimes, which is bad, because it shows that you affect my life.
Darn! I need to master the art of the lack of emotion!
Haha, yeah but after a while I usually get used to it and start being nice again.

I need to feel nothing for you.
Okay, occasional concern when you're nice.

You're insane and I really dislike returning to whatever place you're in.
I always forget, and then when something happens, I remember why I avoided being around in the first place. Is that selective memory, that I always forget what happens, only the joyous things?
You deserve to be alone, with none of us. You verbally abuse us whenever we're just sitting around and make out your pathetic deeds to be so great. LOL.
Haha, but now when I edit this after my anger has subsided, I see less suffering.
And you made him a miniature version of you.
LOL.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

I have forgiven you too much,
yet I am so forgiving.
I forget it after a while.
You know why? All because it makes me happy and live without a care.
Good that it only affects me momentarily,
but it has affected her too much.
I need to help her.

Okay I'm off to study. (:
I love econs.
I AM HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.
YAY.
Darn, I need privacy.

Haha, so anyway, I didn't get to re-do my NAFPA because that would mean that I'd have to retake 2.4km. Hence, I shall stick with the almost perfect score. Haha. (:
Well, at least other people will achieve it for me.

Actually, after writing all that anger down, I am very tempted to delete it all away because it is evidence that I was upset once. I do not like negativity, but we do need to let it manifest itself in words, don't we? We need someone to read it, to make it become real, so that someone can understand the plight we're in. I know other people go through this too, perhaps even worse fates.

Well, I'm off to study soon!

What is the extent of harm you will inflict upon the one you supposedly love?
Would you go through his personal things, attain information you want about him through despicable means, or haunt him online by undertaking some anonymous role?

I find all that really infuriating, and I feel that the actions you're adopting on him, my friend, is not very wise, and I wish I had control for myself too. Yet control is elusive, and freedom is not near at the moment. Is choice the only reason for success? Does choice equate to happiness? Perhaps the elimination of choice serves as a mode of stability, and it abolishes all need to blame and all reason to care. It keeps us in a comfort zone.

Yet I am happy everyday, or as much as I attempt to be. To be in this mode serves as a comfort zone, and it protects and it nourishes, and it assists you in going on this road of life.

Happy, all because I am in control and those stupid, DAMNED negative people can just screw off. Seriously.

Is there romantic love? I see no love but lust, and it will remain that way. People own and people have control, and they lose the attraction they once had and there is no love but just familiarity. Humans tend to prefer something known to them, and something they can rely on. Does that mean we're not open to choices?

Is this my way of comfort?

I would like to have the whole world, but would the whole world accept change? What is change. Change is something out of the blue, unexpected, unlikable, undesirable, unwanted. Unwanted.
People do not like different things.

Closed society,
yet we learn to adapt.

And we're safe.

And we're all happy.

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Haha okay, watched some motivational thing again.
YES.

I changed my mind. I believe in the law of attraction, again.
I get the things I believe. (:
Yes.

POSITIVE. POSITIVE.
IGNORE.
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Haha okay enough of the serious talk.
I wanna do those guy pull-ups man.
I wanna be stronger.
I can go up halfway already.

I will protect myself.

Too many choice, and too many things to believe in.
Security is essential for success,
and only I determine success.
Do not let anyone in. (:

Shall share with you my experience for NAPFA. It may sound perhaps senseless to you
that I actually care about it a lot, but well, I like such stuff. (:

For yesterday, I obtained a fault jump for standing broad jump three times and got zero. Hence, it was a failure.
I was really so upset that I just cried a few times because I always did well for it and got A.
I just could not do it. There was a factor that contributed to that failure and it was the lack of trust in the Lord that He'll see me through any obstacle.

However, for today, I prayed and I got what I wanted. :D I just trusted Him.
Really thank the Lord! He works miracles. ((:
He always helps us in time of need.

Actually, what I wish to proclaim is that no matter what, we just have to be dependent on him and place all our trust in Him. He'll see us through.
Thanks for the encouraging words.

Haha, I'm gonna make this a personal post and ramble on about what I wish to achieve like how normal people blog.

Almost got A for inclined pull-ups though. 2 more of it. They're more strict in this school. Had 29/30 overall.
I am almost there in terms of reaching a perfect score, MY DREAM as mentioned in my previous post. It is my dream and I will achieve it!! Shall train for it.
I am going to carry more weights and I am a tough girl man. (See the irony?)
Shall retake it on Wed. :DD Hahaha.