i am ill. i felt half dead when i was doing e math paper 2. the paper was easy though. i think i am running a temperature. my whole body seems to be cooking, i am suffering from flu and sore throat and my head hurts. ): pray for me!

i just reread my previous post. it was truly uplifting. i guess there are just certain times when you feel that all is lost and it takes that much to lift you out of your despondent state. Everything that dawns on me happens for a purpose and plan. God's plan. I continually remind myself that this is true and life seems to be more pleasant when i adopt this notion. Anyone can be happy. They just have to allow it. I cannot accept it when someone revisits the past all the time and blames and rebukes me for something i have done years ago. i was a young teenager, impressionable, typical, whatever. everyone knows a child can't think right. true. stop it. i guess that is what they deem ' living in the past'- blaming you for every single mistake that has long been eradicated from your memory, telling you to learn, to learn, to learn. it does not help when the corrector thinks that it is beneficial to the person concerning this matter.

ignore?

the next paper is coming up soon. i will be glad when this is all over.
i wish my foolish pride would go away.
is it that hard to let go?
i have already fallen deep into this trap years ago.

i wish i were a young and adorable little girl. i would do all the stupid and frivolous things and everyone would love me and take it as it is. too bad i am not. not anymore.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALLISTER! :D

Yes, lis, this is for you. Haha i am sorry I gave you that gay girl name.
I enjoyed learning with you during our 'study' sessions in the cafe those times.
it was great talking to you on the phone and laughing about ridiculous things.
you are a nice bro! ( i think) sorry i can't send you birthday greetings because your phone is not in a working condition. (:
-i will tell him to read this.

As the end of this year draws near, i cannot help but reflect about the past year. everyone has aged by a year, transformed, gone through much more in life, seen a lot more and experienced memorable stages of life.

i wasted away most of my time. it is only recently that i really started working hard for my upcoming papers. i feel the urge to do well. i think i have changed a lot. i did not use to care about anyone else and their existence apart from myself and perhaps a few exceptions.

God has a purpose and plan for everything. He continually moulds me, rids the imperfections, the flaws, everything that is not pleasing to him. We cannot deny that there is a God, a living God. he is not an inanimate object. He is our ethereal Father, our sovereign king.

Ask yourself. Who made the world? Who made us?

Did we just appear out of nowhere and have a life of our own?

No.

He created us, and Man fell. Man continually lives in iniquity, and the world is sin-ridden. People dying, throat-slashing, poverty, backstabbing, whatever it is, it is of the world.

But, God is here to save us. God is immaculate. He cannot tolerate sin. Jesus died for us, and he rose . If we believe that He died for us, we have a place in heaven. It is that simple. You cannot deny that there is a God. It is blatant.

I have this friend who recently told me about her new-found faith in Christ. She used to be an atheist but has thus abandoned her old beliefs. It is truly remarkable because her current belief opposes her initial stand. I am really glad.
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Graduation was great. I will miss my classmates. It was then when we finally took off the masks and revealed a little of our true selves. Sadly but true, people start to appreciate another when we have to part with each other.