what is this hypocrisy all about?

speaking ill of people behind their backs, putting up a false front.
if you do not like it, say it face to face! the thing is, people do not do so for fear of the consequences and as time goes by, it accumulates and one day, the volcano erupts and everyone is victimised. result? we are all hurt by the lava and as it solidifies, so does our hearts.

what an analogy.

it hurts sometimes, but as time goes by, you are actually immune to it.
you realise that you can no longer entirely trust a person. you have to give some, but withhold everything else. do not give your all, because no one else does. it is that difficult to place your faith on someone. that is why this world is full of sin.

there are people that you can rely on, but you cannot place your all on that person, for that person has his or her own troubles and sooner or later, things will turn ugly if you are to dependent on the person. learn to think before you speak.

happy resolution. things will turn out perfectly fine, because I give in.
say sorry, and unhappy things will come to an end!
put aside your pride.
forgive, and eventually forget!
we are all people living in bliss.
remember, ignorance is bliss?
(supposedly smiling. )

prelims in less than 20 days. work harder, yiling.

Many occasions, I wonder if it is all worth it. The endeavours made at trying to comprehend someone, being patient even though they flare up at you for no particular reason even though you have given so much more. I know that if I were not to bother to, they would do the analogous. Therefore, I try means and ways to behave in an appropriate manner. Do you call this pretentious, hypocrisy, or merely being humble and lowering yourself so that peace is maintained? Both sides must be willing.

I express my heartfelt thanks to the people who have made an effort to speak to me, be it face to face or on the phone. Only love and concern for a fellow friend would urge them to do so. When one has given up hope on you, such thoughtful gestures are not evident.

How i marvel at this discovery. I care. Only, do you know that no one is perfect?

For that point, no, I am not attempting to sound mature. I am merely expressing how I feel. Does everyone not know the fact that hiding the truth only leads to sinking deeper into this trap? How do you escape if you wish not to face it? I just say the truth and how I really feel, because I care.

I really detest people who abhors someone without knowing that person. When someone tells me that, it only leads me into regarding that person with disdain, escpecially like-minded brethren who feel that way. No, I am not perfect, and I cannot help but being in this state.

On a lighter note, talking to someone and clearing the air really is the ultimate solution, whether or not you touch on that subject, but merely conversing with each other as though the relationship were a fresh sheet of paper. No prejudice. It will be very obvious.

lesson learnt.

i haven't been online in eons!
anyway, i have to study really hard for the final examination.
prelims are up in 26 days, last count.
anyway, things that do not concern my studies will have to be put aside.
that includes shoots, ): (very sadly, but maybe a little if it comes my way) obssesive exercising and others,
TILL the end of my FINAL EXAMS.

i have no outside life now.

however nasty things will be fine if you just commit it to prayer. i really find it frustrating when people keep rambling about how life sucks. i really wish they could see the light, the positive side in life and be glad for once.

sometimes, i know it is much more comforting to know that you are depressed and people care for you but when you get out of that 'comfort' zone, you will begin to view life very differently. everyone wants somebody to care, which results in their actions. notice how your life does not revolve around you but around somebody else, everybody else?

everyone wants attention, which results in action, and actions have consequences. we have to think before we act. i get turned off by people who do not think before they speak, really. everyone does. complete TURN-off.

i wanna fly to vancouver!

i do want things to turn out fine. sorry if i've caused you to misunderstand or anyone to, really. we must live in harmony! friends? (:
this may apply to many cases.

where is the happy ending that we all seek in every aspect of our life? it takes two hands to clap.

when the time comes, the times comes, and it definitely is not now.

focus, yiling.
i sound like i'm speaking to myself as a third person.




anyway, there have been immature people sending me messages that indicate sexual desires and i am totally disgusted and appalled. how revolting that can be. get a life. Capital L-osers. 0:

i pity you.
not.

i must forgive ignorant child-like teenagers,
especially if they read my blog,
and they shall stop.
thank you.
go and study.

I've found the true meaning of a lot of things after speaking to allister on the phone last night. it wasn't about you, it was about me telling you what i feel about everything and in a way, assisting you as well as myself. when i preach to others, it somehow applies to myself. i notice that it is really easy to tell someone else the right thing to do but it is hard to carry words out into action. you have to really let things go. i know you don't read my posts, sister lissy. (sounds gay) (: i know you're not a girl but i don't care. since you don't bother to, i shall blog anyway. (: thanks for keeping me up till about one and not letting me sleep. first time. i love blogging about people who do not read my posts. THANK YOU FOR COMPLIMENTING ME and saying things like- you're a really good listener and really nice to talk to! hahahaha. i know other people read my blog.
i realise i have a lot of 'fans'. -.-

When you let go of something, the burden is lifted off your heavy heart and you feel free. Why hold on to something which has no answer and no end? This will result in eternal monotonity. Many things have dawned upon me for the past few days, and i know that true joy can only be experienced when you learn to accept things the way it is, and also the people around you, instead of attempting to change them.

Stop upholding the negative mindset that you have, that facade, continuing to live in misery. Would you rather be a blissful person, or be a depressed soul, moaning about life all day? You can change, only if you want to. No one else can help you. They can only do what they can- talk to you and give you words of encouragement that lifts up your soul if you allow for it to happen.

It's really heartwarming to know that people care about you despite how you think otherwise. I have truly found the real meaning in life and i know that i will only be happy if i learn to treasure things of the present, instead of living in desolation and holding on to everything that is past. I know most people do this without actual knowledge of it, for in their hearts, they do not wish to let go.

It is natural, because we are humans, and this is part and parcel of life. Human emotions equals to weakness. I shuld leave everything to our sovereign God, love him with my all, even though my all is nothing compared to his unconditional love. I need to be a better person. I should strive to be more genuine. Sometimes, the negative part of me says no and often, i obey it. We should all learn to ignore the negative side of us and listening to the weak whisper that say- 'do the right thing'.

We should all be friends instead of bearing grudges and detesting each other due to past feuds, though hard it may be. Ignoring is not the best solution, it is running away from reality.

Only by being genuine, then will people around to start to peel off the false side of them and revealing the real in them. i should stop the pretense, though at times, it is inevitable. after all, who would want a present that is wrapped up in the most exquisite designs and unwrap it, only to find an empty box or what's worse, full of serpents waiting to eat you alive? Most people are like that.

are you one of them?

I hope you actually read it all. Farewell, my loyal fans. (:
pretty lengthy post, actually.

the world is so incomprehendsible, or do you make it seem like that? i can't seem to comprehend anything anymore. nothing appears genuine. people are not showing their true selves, everything is just a facade. everyone, inculding myself, is not showing their real self. maybe there are people who reveal a little about themselves, but other than that, everything seems so complicated. Rey, Rey. thanks a lot, for confusing me. ):

Now i can't sleep in peace. In Mabel's home right now. I don't feel genuine anymore. I need to be alive!!!!! I should start being real myself, then others will emulate me and people around me will endeavour to be true instead of faking it.

I know that I have to be good example instead of being a stumbling block. I want to be strong too, i want to be a role model. I need to do it instead of just saying it. It's really tough, though. I guess I have a lot more to learn.

Thanks, Rey, for speaking to me.

must check post before publishing. -.-