i just reread my previous post. it was truly uplifting. i guess there are just certain times when you feel that all is lost and it takes that much to lift you out of your despondent state. Everything that dawns on me happens for a purpose and plan. God's plan. I continually remind myself that this is true and life seems to be more pleasant when i adopt this notion. Anyone can be happy. They just have to allow it. I cannot accept it when someone revisits the past all the time and blames and rebukes me for something i have done years ago. i was a young teenager, impressionable, typical, whatever. everyone knows a child can't think right. true. stop it. i guess that is what they deem ' living in the past'- blaming you for every single mistake that has long been eradicated from your memory, telling you to learn, to learn, to learn. it does not help when the corrector thinks that it is beneficial to the person concerning this matter.

ignore?

the next paper is coming up soon. i will be glad when this is all over.
i wish my foolish pride would go away.
is it that hard to let go?
i have already fallen deep into this trap years ago.

i wish i were a young and adorable little girl. i would do all the stupid and frivolous things and everyone would love me and take it as it is. too bad i am not. not anymore.