Please scroll down to the bottom to read the first post! This is the third post. I create a new post everyday to show that I updated. :D Thanks for reading!

Continued Story.

Remembering Kailey

She made the final touches to my painted face, as I would like to call it, because it is not real, and started on the finishing touch- "Gold magic", as she liked to call it. "Thanks, Apple." I smiled my usual warm smile, and turned to the crew.

I did this for the hundredth time and I was truly sick of it.
The flashes came on and the poses were struck, but I really wanted something better.
At times I did shoots just for the fun of it without the whole team and stuff.
I wanted greater opportunities and I wanted Aaron to know because through this legitimate way, I would be able to veritably feel free and glad.
Aaron would have killed me if he had caught hold of the fact that I still did these sort of "Vain" things.
He hated this sort of frivolous activity.
He told me to give it up.
He wanted me to be a normal girl.

"Stop being so vain. Why are you so vain? You should stay at home and do housework.
Or you can teach tuition."
He used to chime this phrase all day.

"Can you help me find people I can teach tuition to?"

"Why don't you just stay at home and study. You should be studying!"

"Come, let me teach you how to cook. You need to LEARN."

I was defiant. I desired the best of both worlds, but I was never cheerful because of my doings.
And why did I do it? I wanted the attention I lacked from home.
There was never a home.

I said my goodbyes and pasted a genuine smile in my face. It was extremely easy after all the practice I had throughout my entire life. At times I genuinely felt happy, but when I was notably sad I had to keep up this jovial presence.

As I strutted down the rocky grey path, a familiar face greeted me near the side of the street. "Hey, isn't that Shaynie?"

My palpitating heart seemed as though it was going to erupt with a tremendous force out of my ribcage. "Shucks, I hope Shayne recognises me and sees how gorgeously I am dolled up." I said to myself.

It wasn't a coincidence that I bumped into Shayne. I was around his estate, waiting for him to appear.

He drew nearer, but he was not alone. He wasn't with Tay either. I saw another girl. She was five foot two and really petite and she looked like a freaking butch to me. "So you like those damn butches with chopped hair?"
I frowned, and I acted like I did not care and sashayed across that unfeeling grey path. He did not even have the decency to recognize me.

"SHAYNE SAW!" I growled.

"Yes, sweeet.. hurrr.. wannaa come and join uss?" He mumbled.

"Do you KNOW WHO I AM?" I was furious.

"You areee.. a chickk! Huurr hurrr..."

I stomped off furiously.
He will never change.

------------

I went back to the scenic place where I first went with Shayne.
I thought he was different then when he brought me to the place I truly loved entirely.
He has ruined it thoroughly.
Once, I thought that our differing aims actually complemented each other but at this current moment, all I see is just illusions I conjured up.

I thought his smile was still real.
Maybe he'll wake up tomorrow.
Like how Mummy woke up every morning and her screaming, screaming like a dead fish.

"I wonder how they kiss.
Is there love, or is it merely lust.
Thank goodness you'll never touch me.

You will never be able to quench your thirst."

I turned around and left without looking back.

---------------

Zana looked at Shayne and his five foot two bitch.
She looked as pathetic as he was.
She felt nothing, but the nothing she felt really was something.
She was deeply angered, but she could have never done anything about it, because men are weak, and they succumb to every little temptation, just like Bricky and cheating Shayne. Poor Tay. She wasn't really that poor a thing after all. What about Zana?

--------------

She walked to Zebar Cafe, the nearest Cafe and headed for the toilet.
"I leave no evidence and I never will."

But she forgot that the teardrop will always haunt her like the water cycle.

She cleansed her face and removed the artificial paint.
"Now I look normal again."

She stared at her drenched face and glared at herself.
"Is she more attractive than I AM? What does Tay, or what does that tiny little worm have that I don't?"

She screamed her silent scream.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Zana smiled that genuine smile again and when it did look flawless, she turned and walked out.

"Time for my next show."

--------------

"Bye Aaron. I'll be staying at Jaye's doing our Geography Project."

I walked off and headed straight to Zebar's. Time for some fun.
I slipped into a deep-V silvery black mini-dress that revealed a lot of cleavage.
"If you want a five foot two slut, I'll show you what a slut is."
I sneaked in my five-inch red suede heels and slipped it on. "Delicious."
I pulled the dress just too low and strutted out.

Continued.

Continued from the Previous post.
Read the first part! (:
School tomorrow.

Remembering Kailey

.. Aaron was never the perfect stepfather, but he was nice enough.
Although he perpetually scolded Zana for every single misdeed he thought she committed, when he was nice, he actually meant it.

As Zana ironed Aaron's clothes, she attempted to enjoy doing the chore. Zana hated the way he ordered her around like she was a maid. "This is NOT a hotel. You are living UNDER MY ROOF." And he went on and on about it and she quietly cursed him. Then, she would reprimand herself for getting worked up because she detested anger. She knew how it utterly tarnished every relationship with the people she veritably loved. But she was also weak. She did lose her temper, and how often did she feel horrid about it.

"I should understand. Aaron probably doesn't realise how angry he sounds.
He probably doesn't."

"Well, he is a nice person. He did wake up and bring me to school whenever there was a downpour. He could have slept in."

Zana continued ironing the clothes.

"After all, he suffered enough under the hands of Mummy Kailey."

"And he did not intentionally leave Mummy, like Brick."

She will never be able to eradicate the sight of Brick's pushing of Kailey onto that unfeeling ground from her mind. That silent thud, that cruel melody, his body language.

He did not want them.
He desired his petite little present.
"I like older women. They are more mature than you.
I hate how whiny you are and your stupid job. You're worthless."

"You're worthless. " Zana chimed and stared at the mirror with cruel hate.
"YOU ARE WORTHLESS. Bricky, you are. YOU ARE WORTHLESS."

She sobbed uncontrollably and sniffed, and she buried her head in her shivering hands.
They did not feel human anymore. Why did they feel detached from her very frightened body?
"Why do I see you.. you, in myself. "

Her teardrop fell onto Aaron's shirt. "I hate evidence."
She glided the iron effortlessly and the tear evaporated into the unfriendly atmosphere.
But the water cycle is endless, and the tear will always haunt her and return to its sole owner.

--------------------

After Bricky deserted their "family", Kailey numbed herself with her work.
She was misused, exploited and she did not have the mentality to draw herself from it anymore.
Every night was an opportunity and a chance for her to make quick cash.
She was hardly at home, if we were to call that concrete mass a home, and if she were home, she would have been in the arms of a perfect stranger.

Perfect, and strangely perfect.
They were perfect because Kailey never saw them again, and that did her good.

Zana saw herself again that night, huddled in a corner with her hair tied with those blue ribbons from Sheila's, making that endeavor to disappear from the room and she saw those filthy dark purple lips consume her Mum's. Her Mum giggled as usual, that pathetic smile, that pseudo laughter, as though she really enjoyed the cash-making procedure. Both of them would burst out laughing and Zana's tears rolled down like the blood of a dead fish. Dead fish. She was cold like dead fish, and the tears were merely an obligation.

Mummy Kailey glanced at her, and Zana could see that she had already fallen asleep.
Or was she pretending?

---------------------

She heard the sound of chirping birds.
It was a recurring dream that continually haunted despite it having happened eons back.

Continued.

Zana hopped out of bed and folded the blue green sheets into an immaculate square.

"Time for the other part of my life. At times, I really wonder why I do it at all. What do I seek? All I want is just the satisfaction I attain from doing it. Whatever."

I am now a writer. Do read my story! (:
Haha, it is rather entertaining. Maybe.
Enjoy! :D

Remembering Kailey

"Why are you not doing the dishes? Why have you not ironed the clothes? You, YOU are living UNDER my roof. Zana, you are supposed to do YOUR work. This is NOT a hotel. This is outrageous! I will.... drop down and.. get.."

"Shut up and die." Zana thought. "I will leave the moment I turn twenty-one. I shall endure it and leave as soon as I can. But why is he like that? Does he not have emotions? Does he not understand that I have needs? Does he.. But he doesn't know it."

"Mummy, I miss you terribly." This very thought ran through Zana's mind for the nth time.

-----------
Her hair was tied with those beautiful blue ribbons they used to see when they passed by Sheila's, the most well-known hair accessory shop in Shikane Town. The two delightful little strings cost Mummy Kailey two weeks worth of her salary. Mummy Kailey was poor, and she was a part-time picture slut with little cash to spend. Kailey was perfect, and her lovely brown curls framed her foxy little face, oval and sharp. Kailey had the most slender body and the sweetest smile, and her light tanned frame drew stares at every street. But Kailey was also naive.

"Yes, lower. Lower. Ahh, perfect. Bend more, to the left. A smile. Yes, that's it."
Click.

"She's such a good prawn." They laughed. Kailey glanced, and turned away.
She did it for money. Her poor daughter. How was Zana going to attain a proper education?

Kailey did not want it. But she did want it. It was successful in numbing her.
They thought she was a slut anyway.

Zana's sweet voice drew her back. "Thank you Mom-my. Preee-dy ribbons." Zana's 7 year-old face lit up and it never failed to cheer Kailey up.

Those were truly the days.

Kailey truly loved Zana's father. But he left her. How Kailey abhorred his newer love. She was older than Bricky and she was a petite little present. Kailey hated her smile. Kailey hated her maturity and how natural she was. Kailey was just a picture beauty. She was merely a slut in their eyes because of her job. She was nothing.

It was no wonder that Bricky left her.

"Mummy, mummy. Are you listening to me?"
-------

Zana snapped out of it. Mummy was long gone. She was still alive, but her mental state was terrible and she would have been better off if she died in that tragic fire years back.

"Bye, Aaron. I'm off to school. I did my chores."

"Bye. Come home early. You need to tidy up the house."

Zana ambled across the same path she tread for the past years, when Mummy was still alive at heart and when Bricky did visit. "I wish I had a choice. Why can't I be free? I want to be just like Mummy. I want to do what she used to do." Zana kicked a tiny stone. It bounced off the grey road and landed nearby with a thud.

"Woah girl, easy on that!" A familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Haha, Shaynie. It's you! I should have known. That annoying voice."
"Shayne. What Shaynie. Zany you. Hahaha. Are you okay?"

"Of course I am. Haha. How can I not be. I always am happy. Don't I look happy?"

"I know you haven't been happy all these while. Stop pretending. Smiling doesn't mean you're glad. It merely means you're smiling, Zan."
Shayne stopped. He looked down and gazed into her eyes. Those emotionless peepers and that little dimple on her cheek that appeared when she tried to force a smile. He wanted to make her happy so badly.

"Nah, I'm just thinking. I miss my mum.
She warned me not to follow in her footsteps, but I did.
She never knew about my double life.
And she will never know."

They took little steps across the grey path.

"Hey, wanna follow me to this new spot I discovered? Come on Zan!"

Shayne ran. "Dude, we're gonna be late!"

"Who cares! Haha come on girl!" Shayne's voice trailed off.

The splendor of the magnificent place shocked her. She had never noticed. The trees were exceptionally green and the luscious leaves were spectacular. The air was simply refreshing and Zana loved nature.

"I knew you would love it, Zan. I'll bring a camera here one day and we'll take a picture for keepsake. (:

"Thanks, Shay. It means a lot. Let's go now. We're gonna be late!"

-----------

"Bye Sheena. See you tomorrow! I'll be going to the park for a while."

Zana sat down in the prickly grass alone. Will Shayne be here the next time? She buried her face in her hands and tears ran like a toppled glass of orange juice.
Of course he will be. He promised.

-----------

"I'm sorry Kailey. I need to leave.

"No, Brick. No, no. You can't leave us. Zana needs you. She needs you. She's your..rr child."
Kailey was kneeling and she clung on and wrapped herself around Bricky's legs pathetically.

"Go away. Stop it."

He pushed her and she fell flat. It wasn't the first time she cried.

Zana was at the corner, watching.
-------------

"Zana, are you paying attention?"

"Sorry, Ms Lay."

Shall continue another time!

Shayne looked at her and smiled. She will always remember his smile.

The bell rung and the students quickly exited the classroom.
"You know, you're here but you're never really here. Where are you, really?" Shayne asked.

"I'm in your fantasy.

"Haha, very funny." Shayne attempted to look angry but he was trying to stop his smile from appearing.

"Zannyyy. Haha, stop sticking to Shayne. You inseparable couple. Follow us!" Sheena and Jaye giggled and dragged her away.

------------------
Sheena and Zan decided to go for a girl walk after school.
"Zan, I'm officially in love with the Korean hunk I saw on TV last night! He's so uber cute and oh, like heaven! Hahaha. Save me babe!"

"Haha, are you serious? Hm, he is not real, girl. He is merely commercialized and sold like pretty make up. " Zana replied.

"But he's so cute. You mean you've got someone real?"

Zana stopped abruptly.

"I think I like Shayne."

Silence followed. Sheena stopped walking and turned to Zana.

"Um, I am sorry to burst your bubble. But come on, don't be stupid, he is dating Tay. He won't like you anyway. We were just teasing?"

Zana paused for a slight second, and then burst out laughing.

"Nah, I was just kidding. Haha. April's fool!"

Zana continued laughing and tickled Sheena, but in actual fact, she was extremely hurt.
Shayne. Shayne. Oh nice Shayne.
---------

She walked home alone that day.
"Oh why can't you seeee, you belong with me--"
Zan's beautiful and melodious voice went on playing.

"Why can't you see."

"Why.
Am I gonna be like Mummy?
Daddy left her.
He's not even my Dad.
He doesn't even permit me to call him Dad."

Zana sighed, and she took loud and heavy steps home.
Time to do housework and please Aaron.

Many people proclaim that writing is an outlet whereby people actually have the opportunity to clearly magnify their emotions.

However, is that actually true?

Many of us actually craft these written words and those unspoken ones are all merely filtered away like the pulp and the orange juice. The juice is delicious and simply delightful. Disputably, some people may actually detest the refreshing scent and texture of the pulp, whereas others may actually consume the pulp with relish. What's the point then?

It is simply the perspective we take.

We have differing stands.

We are DIFFERENT.

We are not alike.
We do not think the same things.
We do not want the same goals.
We do not miss the same things.
We do not share.

We have never shared. It is hard. It is as challenging as taking a volcano rock and likening it to cold fish. Cold fish. Where are you?

You're cold like fish.
We're cold like fish.
We're cold like cold fish.
We are not the same.

Everyone is not like that.
Everyone loves different things.
Some like cold fish, some like hot rocks.
We are merely separate entities.

A memory is a memory.
It can remain.

It's not always about you.
Sometimes it is.
Fishes are not diamonds.
Diamonds. Maybe I like fishes better.
Even with flaws.
But I am lying.

Why is everyone living in bliss?
They have got everything they can possibly desire.
They've got whatever they want.
Does it happen this easily?
Why do we settle for second best?
It all comes down to where your treasure is.
"If your treasure is up in heaven, then your heart will be there too."

I remember this from the church song.
I am finally freed from Chinese.
Chinese A's were great.
Thanks, Lord.