The thing is, if you do not desire for anything material in life, what can really drive You?
Too many beings are being consumed by Worldly Lusts, Yet too many beings are being drenched in plain disgust for such vain things. Who then can truly be the one who succeeds. I have yearned for so many things yet nothing at all. There is nothing that can demand that great a desire. Yet, when that desire does surface, I suppress it with all might. I do not let anything overcome me, and I do not let this desire appear. For the fact is, when it is in fact allowed, you are so damn vulnerable. You become as weak as a barrel filled with a thousand holes and a barrel so hit by last night's storm. The storm of yesterdays. People come and go, like the leaves of yesterday. I remember this book I once read, all about sadness and its plain melancholy makes you so comfortable. Yet, what is true comfort? Can one relish in this joy forever? I love writing so much and being in my own world of pure composition, but then, what is composition after all? It is a mere creation. It is in fact created. It is not real. What then can be real?

It is all in your mind. It is created and COMPOSED IN YOUR MIND. You control it.
I once created a story of great sadness, and I once composed a story of great happiness. Who can be happy and sad forever? Yet, can one be sad and happy at the same time?
Life is a stage, and this damn stage is what YOU make of it. I can do many things, and yet I can do nothing at all. Why is it that at times, I would love for this stage to be amazing? I just wish to be happy like most people. I truly love just sitting there and running too fast until I cannot breathe and run across the vast fields. I LOVE NATURE, and yet ironically I love the most beautiful buildings. But yet sometimes I hate them so much. I abhor these buildings so much because it takes the life away from me. I would feel so unclean. I cannot take that. I feel so polluted and blemished when we are in fact supposed to be pure. What is pure? The question is, we can never really know anyone at all. We are all such scary creatures, but queer humans always interest us. They make us so damn curious that we all go insane in search for the true answer. The true answer will never be known, honestly. Go on, this is the question.

I can feel so much, really, and yet the next moment I can feel nothing at all. You know, I used to love reading my posts to myself, but now I don't dare to because I know the pain that I will feel. Haha. It is so scary. I know the messages embedded in each of the posts in the stories I compose. Let us all be safe yeah. No one can harm us.