Perhaps it was due to the countless thoughts that overcrowded my mind, causing me to toss and turn in my bed grudgingly as I continually told myself 'LIKE HECK STOP THINKING, SLEEP' that made me compose this strangely tormenting poem.

It is supposed to be simple. I did not attempt too hard with the vocab.

It shall be christened She as it is a recurring word in the poem.

She

Haunting memories grip her as she tries to close her eyes
Her sympathetic life is made up of an enormous pack of lies
She lies in bed, She squeezes her rag doll- Her only bit of comfort
You could only shudder you think what She has done to be treated like dirt

She hears him coming, She knows what to expect
And yet The thundering footsteps still fill her with the same dread
'Please, PLEASE. let him think I am asleep.
Who am I lying to? I can never escape his whip.'

She hears the door knob turn ever so slightly
In return it made her shiver ever so lightly
'What a marvelous night it is' She blissfully thought
And She recounts the countless times when She struggled and fought

'He will not get away this time, not any longer.
He will not hurt me the way he did to her.'
The ebony sky seemed to glisten for a moment
She saw that the lifeless stars were coruscating with every turn

The door creaked open.

It was time.

She lay in the crimson sea with her lifeless rag doll- her only bit of comfort.
He never got his way,
not any longer.

I wanted to make it sadistic but I guess this would suffice. I was also desperate for an ending and I finally felt the urge to sleep so I merely conjured one that left certain queries unanswered. I am not sadistic, by the way even though that would be thoughtful. I have been locking myself at home and refusing any invitations to go out for the need to recuperate. Right now, I am nursing a 5 CM( 2 INCHES add that to my height man) unsightly scar on my butt that is the by-product of two operations. And my dad actually suggested a tattoo to conceal the permanent flaw. I seriously doubt his state of consciousness at that point of time even though that idea did seem appealing for a moment. Sure, they'd seem like the biggest thing at one point of your life and it shouts out ' oh-my-gosh-cool-you-have-it-i-am-so-jealous' and then no one gives a damn and the after-effects of it is merely a blend of frustration, guilt, regret and also a lot of PAIN and CASH. ((:

By the way, cash sounds very appealing to me now. I am burdened by a lot of after thoughts that should have been long forgotten and annihilated, chucked into the bottomless pit and never mentioned again. Yiling, stop letting your imagination run wild. Forgive my misuage of certain things, I do not wish to bother. Do you feel empty sometimes? If your answer is yes, join the club! :D :D :D

I need to stop obsessing about growing taller. I need to exercise and I wish I could adopt the heck-care attitude I had after my first op and went for YF camp straight after my that, running daily like a frivolous child, engaging in vigorous activities such as captain's ball and rugby that no doubt caused my poor wound to gape too many times. I was insane. And then there was that unsightly scar that made me emotional and I broke down. HAHA, and I recall the stupid misunderstanding with Allis that made me break down too. haha i like to blog about Lis without his knowledge. Lissie and his gay red shirt and the mouse and cheese that Qi and I laughed at. It is a nice shirt. :D I told him many times that 'Guys are insensitive', or so i say. That is for a majority.

What else about the camp? I recall invading Qi's personal space and occupying three beds, kicking poor isabel and qi aside. I AM SO SORRY. hahaha they were humane enough to not wake me up because of my surgical wound. (Qi was like 'I WANTED TO KICK YOU but i thought of your butt.' HAHAHAHA i was like' thanks man.' ) I do recall many irrelevant things that are too mundane to speak of, and bascially the camp was like a torture as I was not in the pink of health during the span of six days. Overall it was fruitful, but it would have been a lot better if I had resisted and went for the op after the camp. That is for attempting to be iron woman. ((: I was not victorious.

Anyway Mel! MEL L You will be fine no matter what. I will be here when you need me. :D I am really thankful for you and I truly enjoy the moments when we speak on the phone and engage in unproductive-bimbo-chat that never fails to brighten up my day(or night) :D :D :D MELMELMELMEL hahahahahahaha and I just realised that I have never called you melissa.

Yiling you can do it! You are growing taller. Eat more beans!
I will be 175cm soon. hahahahahahaha
YES I WILL BE NOW STOP LAUGHING.
hahahaha somehow i laughed when I read it.
there you go, free entertainment.

read my october 10 2008 post about salvation.
this is for your benefit. (: I wish I were still so determined.
http://purefancy.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html